A Post (of sorts)

Hi folks,

In my effort to be a tagalong, I went and copied Jessica. Meet Rosemary and Daisy:

They are very sweet, although Rosemary (the white one) is the outgoing one. She talks and twists her neck all around Exorcist-style and is generally a ham. Daisy (the red one) is much more timid, but when she comes to give you kisses, oh man, her nose is so velvety soft! At night they just bed down under the smoke tree and snooze. I can't think of a better way to clear a backyard of brush. Speaking of which, this is the backyard yesterday morning, pre-goats:

And this is the backyard this morning, after half a day of goat goodness:

I know the difference in the photos is subtle, but believe me, the difference on the ground is NOT. These little ladies have done amazing things in the last 18 hours!

And now, some gratuitous baby photos:


Prodding Plodding Along

Hi folks,

I have recovered from my cold, though my sinuses are still full and making my teeth hurt. Why are our heads full of little infectable cavities? Makes no sense...

Next week Jon starts his new job full-time. He's been home with me part-time since the end of November (after his nearly 2 months of paternity leave) and it's been really really nice. Really, I couldn't ask for a more caring and loving husband and father for our son. He's also hugely more patient than I am with Elliott. Elliott sleeps in a swing on Jon's side of the bed and he is the one to get up many times each and every night to pop Elliott's pacifier back in and give us another hour of sleep. He also brings me breakfast in bed every morning. Granted, it's just a yogurt, but when you're starving first thing in the morning, it's wonderful not to have to deal with the baby before feeding yourself. He also wears Elliott in the Moby for hours on end, without complaint. Our little guy is heavy, 15lbs, and I know it has got to hurt his back at least a little. He also changes all the diapers when he is at home. In short: Jon wins.

So starting next Monday, I will be a full-time SAHM. This wasn't really how I foresaw this happening, but here we are. I've been very conflicted about returning to work. Mostly because I have a lovely easygoing baby who allows me to believe that parenting isn't as hard as I anticipated it would be. I think if I had a more high-maintenance child, I would be running off to interviews at lightening speed, but as it is, I'm enjoying myself. And that's dangerous, because I don't have to work, but our family could proceed with our plans a lot faster if I did. I've begun sending out resumes, but I haven't had any bites yet, and we don't have childcare lined up if I miraculously got a job tomorrow (though we are on a few waiting lists). I also feel like getting my MBA would have been a total waste of time and $60k if I were to not work and stay home forever. And what would happen when Elliott went to school? Or when the kids were out of the house? I feel like I want a career at some point in my life, but that if I wait too long, it will pass me by.

On the other hand, how could I let anyone else take care of my amazing little boy? How will I be able to bear being away from him to go to some silly job where I work so hard for the privilege of not seeing my baby? How can I possibly care about my job now that I have a son, who is obviously so much more important than any job?

It's all the same crap that mothers have been dealing with for years and years. Career? Family? How can I have both and still be happy? The anxiety has been sneaking up on me for the past 6 weeks or so and it was starting to feel like it was going to overtake and consume me at any moment and I wouldn't be able to enjoy this time I have at home. So I saw my psychiatrist and told him I would like the Zoloft back so I don't slip and fall back into that pit of panic. Elliott will thank me for my decision, I am sure of it. This way, he gets to have the best Mommy he can.

Buddha baby...


Don't Get All Hopeful...

...as I'm sure this won't last.

I've been sitting on my ass al day on the couch nursing a headcold. Given to me by my darling son who, in all honesty, has had it much worse than me and managed to keep a much better attitude. How is it that babies do that? I mean, how do they not act like, oh, babies, when they're sick? He also has a huge spot of cradle cap on the back of his head that began weeping a couple of days ago, yet when I clean it out and put antibacterial ointment on it, he doesn't even flinch. I think we've probably got the whole "Don't act like such a baby" insult entirely wrong. It should be "Don't act like such a 14-year-old" because, let's face it, that has to be one of the worst years of any human's life.

Back to sitting on my ass all day: I have been doing it. So Jon suggested I write a blog post after we put the baby down for the night. He was all "It doesn't have to be the huge long thing, just write a little something". So there you have it. A little something about my headcold and how much I am acting like a 14-year-old, not a baby. To redeem this entry at least a little, here's a picture of Elliott:

Elliott's first snow
Elliott's First Snow


Called Out

Hey Folks,

Long time, no talkie talkie. I know, I've been a bad blogger. In short, this happened:

Tongue attack!

Elliott was born on September 29th at 5:35am via a very emergency c-section. We were in the hospital a week (more for me than him) and since then I have been focusing on being a mom.

But! I have been called out by Miss Sundry. So here's the New Year's meme she posted:

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

Um, had a baby. Yep. Definitely that. I also made eggplant parmesan from scratch, had major surgery (see: baby), walked more than I ever thought was possible, stood up for myself more than ever, showed my girl parts to total strangers and learned just how much I could learn to love someone.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I really don't ever make New Year's resolutions. I'm too flighty. I suppose I would want to lose some of the baby weight this year, but I won't be crushed if my love for all things food related wins out.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yep, me. And a few friends and some family! It was another year of babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thank god, no. 2005 had enough of that crap.

5. What countries did you visit?

2006 was my year of international travel. I was a homebody this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

More patience and less anxiety. I would also love to have my family closer geographically, but we're not moving and I doubt they are either.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Jesus, September 29th and the week thereafter. And possibly the month and a half before. Having this baby was rough on me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I became a mom. I made decisions that ensured I had a live and healthy baby. (Gee, sensing a theme here much??)

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not keeping up with friends and family. I hermitted away this year which was something I needed to do, but it took a toll on my relationships.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

In as much as pregnancy is classified as an illness and c-sections hurt like hell, yes.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A Fisher-Price Rainforest Multidirectional Infant Swing. As seen here. This swing has allowed Jon and me to have many uninterupted hours of sleep. I could not love the thing more. Plus, the noises it makes are really rather soothing and I don't mind the toneless "do-do-do-do" it sings to us all night, every night.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Far and away Jon's. The man has more strength than I ever realized. He should win Father of the Year, Man of the Year, Husband of the Year and maybe even a Purple Heart or a Silver Star or a Presidential Medal of Freedom or something.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

OMG the Republicans. Why were none of them impeached??

14. Where did most of your money go?

My mortgage and baby stuff. Followed by fiber. Always with the fiber.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Besides the baby (which was definitely excitement mixed with a healthy dose of fear)? I would say I got super-excited about Harry Potter and some aspects of my job. Finding what I want to do with my career would certainly make the list.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

"Someone Great" by LCD Sound System.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?

I'm a lot happier, but also a little sadder, not so much richer and way WAY fatter.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had let myself off the damn hook more often. My personal standards often get the best of me.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I had complained less. I live an extremely blessed life.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

My mom came up from the Bay Area and we cooked some (extremely smoky) rack of lamb. I love all parts of my beloved sheep! :) We had mountains of presents (really, it was almost embarassing how much Elliott received). We didn't over-indulge too much and we certainly appreciated all that we received, including the white christmas!

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

I did. I definitely did. I re-fell in love with my husband and fell hard for our baby boy.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Far and away, Battlestar Galactica. So say we all!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Other than politicians? No. And I'm really happy about that.

24. What was the best book you read?

I spent my year reading pregnancy books, but the one novel I did read was wonderful. Harry Potter 7, you were lovely and I'm so sad to see you go!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Guitar Hero. Puts the wee babe to sleep within SECONDS.

26. What did you want and get?

I wanted a happy and healthy son and I definitely got that. I also wanted familial harmony and got that in spades.

27. What did you want and not get?

More hours in the day. Also, a Schact Matchless spinning wheel.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Knocked Up. It's surprisingly realistic and Katherine Heigl was hilarious.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

For once, I didn't have class. That was nice! I turned 27 and we spent the night at home. Jon fulfilled my wish to feel "not like *just* a mom".

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

My being able to sit back and enjoy things instead of always looking forward.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Tomboy comma pregnant.

32. What kept you sane?

Knitting and Jon. If my hands aren't busy my mind gets restless.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Tina Fey. Jon is obsessed with her and I have definitely gotten on board. Also Katee Sackhoff who plays Starbuck on BSG. I admit to having a girl-crush on her. Her face! It's just so expressive!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Healthcare. Why the hell can't our country get its shit together? "Market solution" my ass, Republicans!

35. Who did you miss?

I wish the sober version of my dad was here to meet his grandson.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

The ladies of my prenatal water aerobics class. We still get together and they're all really wonderful.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Let other people help you when you need it. I can't possibly please everyone all of the time.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

This one just isn't possible...

So there you have it, Linda people. No promises for more frequent updates, but I might pop up every now and again if I knit something particularly wonderful...


Test conclusions

Hi folks,

So since I have known for about 4 days, I thought I would finally get around to letting you know the outcome of my (horribly uncomfortable) 3-hour glucose tolerance test. I PASSED. Yeah, that's right: SUCK IT, BAD OB! She can just go prediagnose some other poor vulnerable pregnant lady.

I am beyond ecstatic with my stellar 25-30 points below the highest acceptable "normal" number test results. I can finish out this pregnancy eating what I want. Not necessarily when or how much I want (because I don't want to turn into a dirigible), but I can at least enjoy some of the delicious cherries that my fair state grows every year.

Me and my ultra low-risk totally normal pregnancy have officially ditched my bitchy OB and ran into the open and loving arms of the midwives. My first appointment with them is next Wednesday and I couldn't be happier. I've been reading Pushed by Jennifer Block and I can't tell you how glad I am to have read it *before* I give birth. The book is very well researched and supported but it is slanted in that the author really doesn't present the research on the other side to as comprehensive of a degree. However as long as you keep that in mind, I would recommend it to anyone who is of childbearing age in the US. It's timed perfectly to the release of Michael Moore's new film, Sicko, although I am sure that wasn't intentional. But together they would make any person take a good long look at the state of medical care in the US.

I have no idea how to end this post so, um, it has ended!


In a Rainbow State of Mind

Hi folks,

Lately, my yarn purchases have taken a somewhat similar bent. To wit:

STR mediumweight in Puck's Mischief.

Mega Boots Strecth in colorway AWESOME! I mean, uh, 710.

I recently dug this out of some very deep depths of my stash:


And I finally got around to spinning the rest of the singles for my Mom's North Ronaldsay sweater with handspun colorwork:

I really have no idea where I could have possibly have gotten the idea. Maybe I was spurred on by something. Well, whatever it is, I seem to have caught it also. I want to see rainbows in everything, which is unfortunate for the impending child since he's a boy and all. As Jessica helpfully pointed out at our spinning group meeting this evening, he won't be able to undress himself until he's 2 or 3, so I have until then to dress him however the hell I please. Rainbows it is!


Demoralizing Cry*

Rather than leave you, my faithful 2 readers, in the dark about the test results: they came back borderline. I "failed" with a blood sugar level of 141 (acceptable is 130 or 140 and below, depending on your doctor). Over 200 is bad bad bad. So you can see that I'm a long way from 200, and for that I am glad. Only 1/3 of women who fail the 1-hour test end up having gestational diabetes, so there is a really good chance that I am totally fine.

However, I still have to take the "3-hour test" which involves fasting for 12 hours beforehand (this just seems cruel to do to a pregnant woman, doesn't it?) then having your fasting blood level taken, then drinking TWICE the amount of glucose as the last test (100g for those of you playing along at home), then having 3 more blood draws every hour for the following three hours. YAY!!

Since the 50g of glucose made me feel so damn good on a *full* stomach, I can't wait to see my body's reaction to twice the amount of glucose on a totally empty stomach. Apparently a common reaction is to throw up.

Next time: knitting and stuff.

*I have been playing far too much WoW.